HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF! (((=

FINALLY I REACH THIS AGE.. TOTALLY A FULL GROWN UP TEEN! LOLS. =P


Today, unexpectedly, i could wake up @ 5.35.. It's damn early man ( for my own opinion coz i ussualy wake up around 6+++ and still yawning even when im in the shower *bleah* >.<" ),,
I dunno why, i couldn't go back and sleep, and i feel so energetic+hyper today. (=
Probably because today is my great day ahead, hehehe, i could feel the sense of joy and happiness inside my heart coz FINALLY IM FIFTEEN ! yayyyyy~ *grins* wkwkwkwkwakaka

&&& i got a bday present from jennifer, anika, finella, nenek ( these 4 girls shared to give me a set of lotions from marks&spencer) and xinyi( thx 4 ur gift~ the tiny cutiee bear! it's so cutee~~ heehehes), helen( thx for the bday mug! well, i know tt u bought this from minitoons rite? ;p ) and lasttt a HONGBAO from my grandma,
Well, my relationship with her is now ok-ok liao. NO more quarrel or fighting.

Aft school, i went to celebrate my bday w my indo schmates @ tampines, pizza hut. Then we headed to take neoprints! (((:
It's been a long time since i took neos ler. hehehes. Moreover, we had a long time to decorate our photos coz there's no ppl there^^ hohoho.

Ok, This is my wish for this year '2007 :

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W
I
S
H
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U
P
O
N
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A
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S
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T
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A
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R
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*~Hope i could get distinctions for all my subjects this year!~*


Do u know why i make such a wish? Coz in order to get my own freedom lar, i should often go and study.. =\
If my results slip on the report book is gOOd, my parents would trust me better and i can go out during weekends EVERY TIME i want.
Okay, i know my life's sucks, tell you the truth about my life,
I actually cannot go anywhere during weekends unless i got tuition.
OR telling lie to go out with my friends. =x
SO freakin* suckxxx rite? )= "hell yeah.."
That's the reason why i want to get my OWN F-R-E-E-D-O-O-M~!!!
No more childish, I should be a full grown up TEENAGER!
MORE INDEPENDENT too, =p

STAY ALL DAY LONG @ home,,

ok, not all day lar, morning i went to eat at around siglap there, eating meehoon with curry as the gravy which is so not delicious. My school's food stall l is even better and cheaper lor! :p
Then aft that headed to ntuc supermarket to belanja",
Well, i sms-ed my mom already about all the things that happened to me yesterday.
Yup, the quarrel thingy between me and my grandma.
& what is my mom advised me that,,,,,

I ALWAYS HAVE TO LISTEN and LISTEN to ALL HER ADVICESS,,.

She said to me that my academic studies are still not good ( well i admit that, coz i can't go into the science stream =\ ) She also told mi that last time when she was young, if she knew that she could not get into higher than standards (her results) , even when it is weekends, which i think WE suppose to be relax & enjoy ourselves, she will just go and study hard till she got distinctions for her subjects.
Sometimes, grandma's attitude myb a lil bit irritates you and it could make u feel angry, nevertheless, in the end it's for ur own sake , for us. You have to be patience listen to what eldery says to u.
OK, that's the last thing she said to me.

I don't know what to say. When she gave me all these messages right, i just keep on crying and crying. I don't know why. It's like i want to let my feeling goes out. So paiseh. That time when i read her sms-es, i was in the ntuc supermarket. & my tears keep on falling down. So embarassing. >'< Ok, i think need to draw something nice for my art hw. But,, my brain's blank now, i don't have any good idea. =\
Aniweii,,, i've done my english compo. It's about RAIN ler. haahahas. i finally choose the title an occasion when the main guest failed to arrive. That's him, the main honour guest (:
bwahahahahas. i just feel it's cute and funny i could think such a myb err, brilliant idea?! *wekz* haahas. He's now in singapore ler , having a spectacular concert in indoor stadium there. How i wish i could meet or see him, or go to his concert. *wink* haahahas..

Talking about superstar RAIN, remains me of somebody who is really really look alike w him man,,
I just saw this guy one week ago in cineleisure. & He's CHANGED a lot man! The last time i saw him was err, 3-4 years ago? It was during my time when i was still in coleman for 6 months before i go to BV. Ok, When i met him, i was like stunned coz he LOOK REALLY ALIKE SUPERSTAR RAIN! His laughter, smile.. zomgg,, Am i fallen into him? No laa.. It's just that he has really2 similar to rain's smile and laughter which i'd seen it in korean drama, full house.


WELL I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT IF LET SAY DBSK COME TO SG, I WILL SURE , errr, REALLY HAVE TO / MUST / SHOULD COME TO THEIR CONCERT~! JUNSUUU saraenghaeee oppa~!!! >,<

So, today i'd english tuition w Mrs.Tan @ 2 pm.
& aft that, i went home and switch on my computer to watch series drama, heroes. And, my grandmother just came back from gym, and the quarrel between us started again.
She saw me watching movies on computer and then yelled at me, keep telling me, "why u very lazy ar? why i never see u go and study or do some homeworks? You always play computer and watch tv and bla bla bla,,,"
I really really couldn't stand her already lar. This is not the first time she said those words to me. Its just tt everything that i do , she always think it is wrong and i have to always follow what she ask me to do. I have done some of my homeworks and i got study on weekdays, so, i want to relax just a moment by watching some movies so it could entertain me and not make me so stressful..
So, ok, i ask you all, IS IT A WRONG THING? Am i such a bad and naughty girl that i like everyday, everytime, every moment go and play computer, online, watching tv and etc?
I really really couldn't stand her. I can't stand to be in this freakin* life >)':
Then, on the other hand, my mom still couldn't understand me. She always think that my grandma, as the oldest person in this house, all her rules are right, EVERYTHING SHE SAYS IS ALWAYS CORRECT. I have to always follow her and not disobey her rules.
I, as the smallest person (age) in the house, is everytime wrong.
Im turning 15 yrs old soon you know, am i mature enough to go out w my friends during weekends? I really couldn't stand to stayy all DAYyyss longg @ home unless i got tuition. Sometimes, if i really couldnt stand to stay at home, i have to try to find a very good reason ( telling a lie) so i could go and hang out with my friends.
Do they all know what i feel? I feel so bored, so sad, so annoyed. WHY CANT I GO ANYWHERE except school and tuition? Im not a children anymore. I'm very bored, Everyday have to stay at home,, Can't i just go somewhere during weekends with my friends?
ALSO, i think i've grown up already. I understand that i have to study hard. I often think about my future. I know that I'm the one who determines my future. I know , i understand, i really really understand. If there's time for me to study, i'll go straight away to study.
BUT, it's just that i wanted to relax and enjoying myself for a moment, is it a crime, is it wrong? I feel so fed up now. I really really feel so sadd that i want to let myself cry as loud as i can.
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WHY LIFE IS SO UNFAIR?
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Sometimes, i often think to myself, Why am i the smallest age? Why am i a girl?
If let say i were born to be a guy, They wont be so strict to me, they dont have to worry about me.
Oh mom, if u read my blog, please, wo qiu qiu ni, i beg you,,
Can u please understand a bit ur daughter's problem here? I've been always obey u and i feel that i, fillial enough to be a guai kia gurl..
Can u please try to understand me, and tell me what to do? I often feel that grandmother was really unfair to me.
Please help me. I don't want this anymore. I really really want some changes in my LIFE man,,,

)))))': *sobbed*

17.01.08-
Today there's something happened to me.I've a wierdo feeling came upon me. Maybe this is called a hormone. I dunno y, it's just in a sudden , I felt so afraid and so scared, like darkness came to my life. I feel so sad, that out of the blue, my tears were dropping. I kept thinking all the bad things will come to my life. It happened when i just finished bathing in the afternoon. Well, i told my cousins tt these days i felt so stressful, so tired,, but the truth is not so complicated as it is. Life's good in sch these days except thatt i hv to change a new cca. I couldn't stand to stay in netball coz i feel that it's a tough training and i just couldn't click w e netball girls outta there. Moreover, i felt tt they dun lyk me to be part of the netball family coz im not a very a good player. There's also some girls tt annoyed me everytime i came for e training. I've already tried so muchh to be friendly w them but they just lyk dun wan to be my friend. And i think they gossiping about me behind my back. Well, i know tt im not so pro lyk them, im just a bad player in netball team. I just know netball since sec 1 and it's like i was just plainly stupid how to play the game and all the things about netball. I tried so much to understand the game so i could be a good player like them. I also have a feeling u know. I knew it if they keep talking about me behind my back. Im not a sch player, so they dont want me in their group. Sometimes, i just feel annoyed and dissapointed, feel lyk i want to cry because i've tried my best to be good on it, but it just that i couldn't do it.

The BEST cca that i can join now is art club. =.=

-18.01.07-
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY, BRO!
hope u really enjoy ur dayss in aussie! i know u will have a gud times there! i think this year would be ur best bday present ever man. u get a long holiday trips to stay outt there.. =BE NICER,KIND TO UR ONLY SIS OKAYY! and last, dun be so stingy can anot?! :p
I also want ler. i wantt to go overseas w my friends. Well, i think i should wait till i've finished my O's.
But i doubt my parents would let me go ):
Myb, they can let mi go to urmmm,, genting?!
At least it's not that far from spore.
Well, myb i have to study v hard and be a v.hardworking girl, get a distinctions in my studies. There's still a chance for me to go to somewhere , travelling w my friends (:

ANDD FINALLY TODAYY:
EAT stuff roll chicken @ simei w my cousin today. Well i've been watching watching heroes since these past 2 days. it's kinda nice & interesting movie but a lil bit annoying coz there's some grossy things there.blood.death ppl.shocking scenes. >,<"
kkay, i gtg. i need to bath and do my tuition hw. there's el tuition tml, and i still havent done a single things.
there's vocab,tenses, COMPO ): so lazzyy, i hate doing compo ):
Furthermore, there's also sch hws tt hv to be done by mon. =O yachh, also, i dun understand identities in add.maths lesson. it's like so confusing and Mr.goh teaches us v.v.boring. I almost close my eyes you know. Im so sleepy during his class just now. -,-